# People are much more real in person

Source: https://bootstrappingkiwi.substack.com/p/people-are-much-more-real-in-person

## Summary

The author, a crypto writer who describes themselves as a critic online, says people in person are far more candid and real than they appear on Twitter. After being told in person at Dappcon during Berlin Blockchain Week that they were often wrong, they also met people who expressed gratitude and respect for their online persona, which helped them accept that they cannot fundamentally change who they are. They argue that people in the crypto space state their positions candidly offline on controversial topics, such as the Dutch court's sentencing of Pertsev, because they feel safe from having their words used against them on Twitter. They conclude that more people should say online what they say offline, under their real names rather than pseudonyms.

## Article

I have become quite a controversial figure online. When I meet online friends in real life, I constantly get told how critical and controversial I Am (in a joking way, of course!). I’ve been described as “loving to ruffle feathers,” and I have been laughed at for having “only wrong takes.” Almost everybody agrees that I’m a super critical person online. But if you ask me, I’m probably a pain in the ass!

I used to take issue with these comments; they made me feel depressed, and I hated myself for being like that. I’d ask myself why I Am this way and why I can’t be nicer and more agreeable. Surprisingly, maybe a few months ago, I still perceived the offline feedback I got from online friends as more negative than positive. It was my impression that people really thought I was wrong or that I was too loud with my impartial criticism.

Yet, last week at Dappcon during Berlin Blockchain Week, while I had moments when people, again, told me, in person, how absolutely wrong I was in my opinions, I also met some people who seemed to express gratitude and respect for who I represented online, which made me feel more at peace with myself.

I have, rather recently, come to accept that who I am is probably not something I can fundamentally change. Of course, I can tone down my personality and simply not engage much in topics with others. Yet, I have found that when I am truly myself and when I put firmness behind what I stand for, with an eye on keeping it fair and honest, then I am capable of loving myself for being like that. Encountering the wider ecosystem last week in real life has made me realize that I’m fine.

That said, I actually wanted to write something here that I thought was another really important lesson, namely, that I was often shocked by how candid people were with me about controversial issues in person. And the crypto space has many controversial issues these days! For example, it’s unclear where we all personally stand with the Dutch court’s sentencing of Pertsev; we worryingly observe the ultra-political use cases crypto is employed in now, we speculate about which memecoin founders are going to make it, etc.

To my surprise, people were just so candid with me about any of these topics offline. They didn’t hesitate to state their position, well knowing that there was room to agree and disagree on nuances and feeling safe that their word wasn’t going to be used to discredit them on a dark forest like Twitter. I couldn’t help but feel somewhat gleeful about it, considering that I have been trying to close the gap between my offline and online persona in the last few months.

Being candid online takes courage, and facing those who you’ve maybe criticized is scary as hell. I know, I’m congratulating myself here. In any case, I wish more people in the crypto space would say online what they say offline - and not behind pseudonyms, but with their real names. I think it could have a positive impact on the entire space.

## Comments

**mishaderidder.eth**: Agree. 

Although online contact is great for daily chat at the "grocery store" on the "village square" it is very important to meet each other irl. 

So much is lost through the narrow window of the internet chat and video call. Afterwards returning to the online space you have much more knowledge of each other also making online communication easier and it provides better understanding.

And it's fun too!

Internet can never be a substitute for reality, it has to be understood of an integral part. (Just like traditional letters and books or art!) The internet is an enrichment to the experience of each others minds.